FESTIVAL REVIEW: Global Gathering: Long Marston Air Field, Stratford Upon Avon, UK (24/7/09)

It’s All About The Relish
Friday 24th July 2009
Long Marston Air Field, Stratford-upon-Avon

As luck would have it I returned from Benicassim Festival to find I’d won 2 tickets to Global Gathering festival through TNT magazine. I mindlessly enter competitions all the time so had no idea what the prize entailed, but a short click of my mouse informed me I had won the following:

• 2 VIP tickets to the 2 day festival featuring Prodigy, Scratch Perverts, Pendulum, Digitalism, Stanton Warriors, DJ Yoda and more
• 2 return train tickets to the event
• 1 tent
• 2 sleeping bags
• 2 sleeping mats

‘Not a bad haul!’ I thought and immediately called my dancing buddy Kel to sort out a plan of attack. After much too-ing and fro-ing we decided to go only on the Friday night, as I had just returned from Benicassim, Spain and my body and wallet were feeling the effects.

Friday finally arrived, as did the 3-carriage peak hour train to Stratford-upon- Avon, so we crammed ourselves on with 5000 others and set about our adventure. A packed train and one empty double decker shuttle bus later and we were at Long Marston Air Field, collected our VIP tickets, tent and sleeping bags (no mats, disappointing – and an early warning of what was to come…) and head to the VIP entrance.

To this day I have no idea what VIP meant in relation to these tickets. On paper they touted a VIP camping area, clean showers and toilets, plus a bar, food and Jacuzzi area. However these VIP tickets were also available to the public for an extra 100GBP, meaning the majority of festivalgoers were ‘VIP’. Entry was speedy and hassle free – most of the folk arriving through the normal gates were being searched in a manner akin to someone with a bomb strapped to them going through LAX. The whole procedure looked highly unpleasant and I was glad we coasted through… Coasted through to a VIP Camping Area that had more people squeezed into it than the train we rode in on.

VIP entailed being crammed into an overcrowded unorganised mess of tents with one stable-like communal shower tent and a few white cubical loo’s that became as bad as a port-a-loo after a few uses. The chill out bar and food area were OK and did feature a Jacuzzi however all were situated outside and soon became uninviting as the freezing night air drifted in.

We arrived late due to work commitments and had the foresight to borrow a friends pop up tent to avoid erecting a new and unknown tent in the dark. Once camp was set up we ventured into a festival site consisting of a small and terrible sounding main stage, a selection of club arena tents (God’s Kitchen and the like) and a brightly fluorescent, incredibly scary set of carnival rides in the middle. Throw in some loos, a sad excuse for a chill out area and a chew-and-spew food alley and that was it. No theme, no vibe and a fun park so evil I was waiting for Tim Curry a la clown-from-It to jump out at any moment.

Upon exploration we found most of the tents empty bar God’s Kitchen which had a great set up and light show but techno trance just ain’t my thang. The acts I wanted to catch (Prodigy, Pendulum, Stanton Warriors, DJ Yoda to name a few) were in massive tents that were half full, devoid of any atmosphere and – possibly due to the aforementioned – played mediocre to terrible sets. Determined to have a good time Kel and I circled the site numerous times, checked VIP for signs of life – of which there were none – then circled and circled again. Retiring to our tent at 2am, the curfew time for the Friday night, the verdict was all too grim.

With a sight too large and tents way too big for the amount of punters Global Gathering was an empty shell of hopeless vibeless dance music trying to recapture the heady club days of the early 90’s and failing miserably. Maybe the Saturday was better as it was more Drum and Bass oriented – I hope so. Congratulations to God’s Kitchen for having the only constantly pumping tent during the Friday night, a great testament to their staying power. The sad fact remains, and Kelly and I agree, the best thing about Global Gathering was the relish on our midnight snack hamburger.